- Gov. Whitmer doesn’t like “jokes”, #CancelJimmyFallon complete with apology, a Ramble rumble turns racial, Trump’s Joe Scarborough conspiracy theory, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire cheater, and we declare this our dumbest news show ever.
- Drew is really into the new El Chapo show on Netflix, while Marc is into a chick show called Dead to Me.
- Drew is anxiously awaiting the Investigation ID piece on Brittany Murphy and some weird movie called Vivarium.
- New audio of Michael Jordan disputes his story that he had nothing to do with Isiah Thomas not making The Dream Team. We call BranDon’s “100% positive number” for the turd who delivered MJ’s pizza and the guy is still too busy with other phone calls to answer.
- After declaring it another “rumor” Governor Whitmer admits her husband was trying to use his “First Man Privilege” to get his boat docked first. She laughingly called it a poorly delivered joke. Big Gretch then had to admit that her husband did go up north when she asked Michiganders to please stay home.
- Bill Clinton is being accused of attending Orgy Island with Jeffrey Epstein in a new documentary on Netflix.
- A “forgery in progress” in Minnesota ends with another black man killed by cops and the four officers now unemployed.
- A bird watcher in New York is upset at a lady walking her dog in Central Park’s Ramble. She refuses to move, he starts filming with her phone, and she calls the police because an “African-American man” threatened her. She gets doxxed, fired from her job and loses her dog concluding the dumbest story of the year… so far.
- Jimmy Fallon is “cancelled” by Twitter for appearing in blackface in an SNL sketch that is 20 years ago.
- Warren Buffett is a broke-ass bitch as Mark Zuckerberg passes him in the list of richest in the world.
- 28% of Americans believe Bill Gates is a super villain that wants to implant everyone with a microchip. 32% of people think he might be but aren’t sure yet.
- A new episode of ML Soul of Detroit is available: ML Elrick vs Shawn Windsor over reporting “rumors”.
- Breaking news: Jimmy Fallon is sorry.
- A guy once cheated Who Wants to be a Millionaire in the dumbest way possible, but we never knew because it happened in England right before 9/11.
- Britney Spears will quarantine for 14 days before she sees her kids. Just like she has for the last 14 days.
- The NHL has their 24-team playoff coming… but when? Speaking of hockey, Mike Milbury may be the worst General Manager in the history of sports.
- A manhunt is underway for UConn student and double murderer, Peter Manfredonia.
- Colorado has another interesting missing persons case. Maybe we should call Trent Bolte to comment.
- President Trump is still pressing forward with the ‘Joe Scarborough is a killer’ conspiracy theory and Twitter doesn’t give a fuck.
- Polls are a-changing when it comes to the fear of COVID and/or financial hardship from the pandemic. At least people seem to be wearing their masks.
- A 20-year-old has been arrested after a viral video showed him punching his 75-year-old nursing home roommate. This leads to two obvious questions- why are they living together and who was the doofus that uploaded the clip online?
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