- Tom Mazawey (@TomMazawey) & Marc Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!
- Chris Brown arrested for Chris Brown behavior, a talk with ‘Cunningham’ from the Fyre Festival doc, Miggy owes money to his mistress, Oscars & Razzies, more MAGA kid news and Maz’ family rules are tough.
- Hey, dudes! Mott The Hoople is coming to Detroit on their first US tour in 45 years.
- Roseanne Barr is touring as well and coming to Detroit.
- The Covington kids might not be racist, but they might not be totally innocent either.
- An employee at a Dearborn KFC threatened to ‘stab a bitch’ when the customer complained about some missing items from their 6 piece bucket special.
- JV is imploring celebrities to be more cautious with the power they wield when posting on social media… because he’s sooooo DEEP.
- Chris Brown got in some legal trouble in France for doing the kind of things Chris Brown has been known to do. Chris had one classy response.
- Drew disagrees with Earth Day founder & Unicorn Killer Ira Einhorn being in a minimum security prison on the grounds that killers with nicknames are diabolical.
- After watching the Fyre documentary Maz made a hard decision & decided that if Drew asked, he would take one for the team.
- We call who we believe to be the infamous ‘Cunningham’ from the Fyre documentary.
- Breaking News: A dumb story just got dumber as the validity of Nathan Phillips Vietnam Veteran status is now being questioned.
- Olga from Olga’s sandwiches passed away at 92, making us hungry
- Some asshole shot a Saginaw police officer in the face. The officer is in critical. SIST: This criminal has a perfect last-name-to-look ratio.
- Inside Edition’s top story was the important & terrible story that someone pointed a laser at Tom Brady during the AFC Championship game.
- Harry Connick Jr. is boycotting the Super Bowl. He wrote a letter to Roger Goodell to let him know. How will the Super Bowl possibly go on without him?
- Big Boi has managed to amass enough cultural equity that he could survive doing the Super Bowl halftime show without Colin Kaepernick’s blessing.
- The 2019 Oscar nominations are out & Maz has his fingers crossed that Bohemian Rhapsody will take home some awards.
- The 2019 Razzie nominations are also out where Melania & President Trump both received awards for their parts in Fahrenheit 11/9.
- Miguel Cabrera is paying some serious child support to the tune of $20K a month plus mortgage, car, tuition payments & much much more.
- The recruiting department at Florida State thought it would be cool to photoshop a glove on MLK Jr. doing the Tomahawk chop to celebrate MLK day.
- Another newscaster slipped up pronouncing MLK’s name, but he got to keep his job.
- Jeff Bozo Bezos’ new fling Lauren Sanchez got turned down by Mike Piazza, who was allegedly dating Sam Champion at the time according to Tom’s friend in New York.
- Grammy nominated artist Bebe Rexha is starting a social media crusade against body shaming after designers refused to make a dress for the size 8 singer.
- Maz-sequiturs- Lily thinks it’s time to take the parental controls off of iTunes. Abby got her phone taken away for some bad grades. Separated at birth Bachelor Colton & Blake Griffin. Crashing is back on HBO & Artie looks great. Maz used his press pass to score a seat at the Pistons game & ended up weaseling some tickets to an upcoming show in exchange for some DMP merch for which he’s not paying.
- The new cast of Celebrity Big Brother with Julie Chen-Moonves is solid.
- This Week In Soft Rock: 76′ Barry Manilow #1 with I Write The Songs, 80′ Studio 54 owners sentenced for tax evasion, 67′ Lesley Gore was Pussycat one of Cat Woman’s bitches, 71′ Ringo testifies that Paul McCartney behaves like a ‘spoiled child’, 74′ Show & Tell goes to the Billboard top 100, 74′ Stevie Wonder performed in London 5 months after waking up from a coma, 82′ Ozzy bit the head off a bat, 84′ Barry Manilow sang the National Anthem at the Superbowl without Kaepernick’s approval.
No more Super Bowl for this guy. ©AP Photo/Invision/Evan Agostini
This is Rosebush. Not a joke. That’s his name. ©MSP
Separated at Birth- Blake Griffin, Colton from the Bachelor and Spencer Prat. ©Various Sources