- Tom Mazawey (@TomMazawey) & Marc Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!
- El Chapo guilty, Melinda Gates demands equal time, loose lips Lauren Sanchez, Jussie Smollett’s phone records, Page vs. Pratt, Drew met Dustin Hoffman and Maz’s movie recap takes forever.
- El Chapo es culpable. He faces life in prison or until he escapes again.
- The roads are so bad that a car slid off the road & hit Drew’s P.O.S. house.
- Drew is beaming with papillon pride. One that is the exact opposite of Maggs wowed the crowd at the 2019 Westminster Dog Show.
- Ellen Page thinks Chris Pratt is a horrible person because his church is mean to people. She also blames Trump & Pence for the Jussie Smollett situation.
- Geoffrey Fieger is the one who’s “not giving in”. He’s loves Detroit so much he’ll prove it by kicking your ass.
- Marc’s watching an exciting game between Man U & PSG, but turns it off so the ladies can watch The Bachelor.
- Colton the boring Bachelor kept things boring with one of the least sexy seasons of The Bachelor in show history.
- People are turning on the Jussie Smollett story after he supplied Chicago PD with heavily redacted phone records.
- Purse Watch: Charlie Neff’s purse is getting bigger.
- Crack, meth & passing bad checks, all ingredients for a killer episode of Love After Lockup.
- We check out some of the great talent on Meet-An-Inmate.com that are looking for love after lockup.
- Speaking of talent, Clayton Paterson has some new HOT content he’d like to share with Instagram & his children.
- Melinda Gates is doing amazing work with the foundation despite deadweight Bill dragging her down.
- The breathiest human being ever spoke at the John Dingell funeral. Two planes full of congressional mourners couldn’t make it to the funeral due to the terrible weather here.
- Maz-sequiturs: The Birmingham 8 is Maz’s new favorite theater (and Maz doesn’t care about Drew’s Dustin Hoffman story). The Green Book & Vice were both phenomenal movies. Maz saw Adam Sandler live with friend of the show Rob Schneider as the opener. Maz apparently is a minor Anti-vaxxer.
- More groups of educated minors are fighting their nutjob antivax parents to get access to life saving vaccines.
- This week in soft rock to include: 39′ Elvis Presley’s Dad released from prison for check fraud, 64′ The Beatles landed at JFK before being driven to the Ed Sullivan show, 69′ George Harrison has his tonsils removed & destroyed, 75′ Phil Spector injured in a serious car accident, 97′ Prince Michael Jackson was born.
- Jeff Bezos Update: Lauren Sanchez allegedly leaked some of Bezos’ peen picks to her friends.
- The Kareem Hunt video is a little Ray Rice-ian but that doesn’t seem to bother the Browns.
The amazing incredible shrinking billionaire & his wife. ©CBS
Just a 60-year-old man checking his phone for new messages. ©Instagram
Clint from Love After Lockup once got like 3 feet of air. ©WEtv/Starcasm