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- Tom Mazawey (@TomMazawey) & Marc Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!
- Thin skinned Pete Davidson, Oprah blown out, a Blanket Jackson appearance, Jussie Smollett’s paid vacation, Swastika Trail is no more, 13-year-old gives birth on a toilet, Marc’s scrapbook from 1985 and Tom argues with his customers.
- Drew’s day started off with GMA & the 911 audio of the white female cop who killed a black man in his own apartment.
- It’s not just Eli that Maggs & Layla bark at. Turns out they’re suspicious of the TMZ theme too.
- Maz & the announcer from the Kentucky Derby are a better separated at birth than Reggie Miller & the ‘it’s not all about you sweetheart’ guy.
- Speaking of horses, who wants to go to Fenton’s Horse Ranch?
- It was a rough month for Maz at Szott, possibly because he’s ghosting potential clients. Maz claims it was only a “ghost lite” though.
- College tuition is skyrocketing while the relevancy of 4 year degrees are declining.
- Oprah got BLOWN OUT from 60 Minutes. To hear her tell it though, she left because the program was cramping her style.
- A rare Blanket Jackson sighting was made in a recent picture with his sister Paris Jackson.
- Maz defended Michael Jackson during a test drive with a customer who objected to Beat It playing on the radio.
- Pete Davidson blew off a standup gig after comedy club owner Vinnie Brand told the crowd to go easy on the little guy & not mention Ariana Grande or Kate Beckinsale.
- The latest polls have ‘Creepy Joe Biden’ way ahead of ‘Crazy Bernie Sanders’ despite deciding to rehash the Anita Hill debacle.
- Maz has a lot of thoughts on past & potential First Ladies.
- Maz braces for impact as a Maz-centric Boner line gets played. Be sure to call (209)66-BONER to give Maz some love & request a position as cohost on his upcoming show.
- Seniors at John Glenn High School are agonizing over whether to go to the district baseball game or their graduation. Fortunately they can do both, but then they couldn’t go cry about it.
- This Week in Soft Rock to include: 62′ The Beatles started a month long residency in Germany, 66′ The Beatles played for the first time at Wembley arena, 67′ Elvis married Priscilla in Las Vegas, 67′ Carl Wilson from the Beach Boys was arrested for being a draft dodger, 84′ Mick Fleetwood declared bankruptcy after spending all his money on cocaine, 97′ the house Kurt Cobain offed himself in sold for big bucks.
- A Davison teacher is facing multiple felony charges for filming a 14-year-old student at a tanning salon without her knowledge.
- Show & Tell: Marc finds his Joe Theismann Kraft check for $1 inside the worst scrapbook. Drew scrutinizes all the artistic photos Marc took when he was 10.
- Swastika Trail has lost the valiant battle to keep it’s misunderstood name & has now been renamed to Old Hickory.
- We call art dealer Tony Shafrazi to ask about his whopper of a claim that he did cocaine with the Beatles. Turns out Page 6 is sending him to the hospital.
- Katie is claiming that she tried to buy a car from Maz, but he ghosted her. Maz rebuts the claim & labels it more of a ghost lite. We give Katie a call to work things out, but turns out she went for a Chevy instead.
- A 13-year-old from Detroit was sitting on the toilet when she gave birth to a surprise baby that first responders were able to save.
- Leslie Moonves’ son Adam lets his kid & baby momma live in a roach infested apartment. She decided the best way to make money was to out the -Moonveses.
- Breaking News: Empire has been renewed for season 6, but Jussie Smollett gets a paid vacation.
- Don Lemon is trying to say that President Trump snubbed Kyler Murray because he’s black.
- Maz-Sequiturs- ESPN the magazine is gone, Maz did not care for BlacKkKlansman & he gives his top picks for the Kentucky Derby.
Another Maz lie.
